AFTER B.Sc….. (PART ONE)

 TRUE STORY

May 26, 2015

05:37pm

Introduction

Alright our final exams was scheduled to commence Monday, 25th of May 2015, but ‘cos of the fuel ish back then, exams was moooveeedd…………………………to the 27th of May 😏 (assholes, Oda schls got 2weeks break)

Evening of the 26th had a serene setting, blocks of our hostel complex were kinda quiet (of course everyone was preparing for exams), the weather seemed as tho it knew wassup; it was cooperative.

My memory however fails me on how I suddenly played host to about 6 of my guys from separate rooms:

De (Room 15)- final yr PLB student, fair complexioned, of average height, hairy and heavily bearded. Highly confident even when spewing gibberish (nonsense).

Jo (Room 27)- final yr student of BCH, dark, well-built, hardworking and wears medicated specs solely for d purpose of zooming in other ppl’s answer scripts during exams, hustle game strong af 👌

Ba (Room 17)- final yr BCH student, controversial Prince of a faraway yoruba kingdom (27th of 28 sons), moderately fair, tall and bearded, converts d whole world to Dols  b4 talking prices, believes in himself to gunpoint (doesn’t always end well Tho).

Pr (Room 17)- final yr BCH student, accented ibo boy, beardless with receding hairlines that’s never due 4 barbing/carving, smart, a bit honest, loyal Kanye disciple, Kaffy’s (the dancer) long forgotten brother-in-law.

Kz (Room 25)- final yr HIS student, my family friend, loud and stubborn, aggressive with Craig David-like teddy and beard, plays ratchet quite well, his most spoken catchphrase- “fresh mad ride” (you’ll understand later on).

Ay (Room 13 Downstairs)300L G&C student, geek, freak, intelligent Delta boy with some weird yoruba name and a surname that’d confuse a bat, nice intruder, poke nosing skills on fleek (explains how he got a role in this movie).

Na (Room 28)- 300L BCH student, Edo boy with very conspicuous facial hair and a very close proximity to the floor stature, annoyingly funny, glutton. He’s everywhere (when food is involved).

Me (Room 18)- Room owner/The host.
Sitting by my room entrance, with his back resting on the door frame so that the door remains open, “Guy where U go like serve” Kz asked without lifting his gaze from his annoyingly heavy tab (model withheld), question directed to no one in particular. I was d closest to him so I assumed ownership of his question.

“For Abj nah, if possible my mama laps” i answered casually.

“This guy Na fool o, why U go still wan serve for Abj? Dey swear for U?” He replied me, this time looking towards d 5-man team on my 4 by 4 bed.

“Na Wetin him want him talk nah” Ay put in without invitation

“Omo Na mama’s boy package b dat o, U no go fit think for urself” Pr argued.

Jo, jus starting to look interested after getting his attention off his phone said, “Oga na anywhere o, I go serve for Lag no mean say I no go free or I no go fit dey work or think for myself”

“Na lieeeeee” I looked towards the direction of the voice, it was De, with the wild cat look he always has on when he’s about to enlighten the world, right or wrong.

“Oga keep quiet, Na true Jo talk” added Na, with both hands tucked deep in his khaki shorts, fidgeting with God knows what , a bad habit he has mastered so well but everyone curses him for.

“Na my side I go serve sef and nobody fit tell me bullshit” with his deep voice raised above all others’, Ba argued, not wanting to b left out and partly bcos he likes claiming free baller and dictator back home, rumour has it hes a Get inside tho, we once overheard him say “…but mum I want to buy shoe nah” on phone. (but it’s none of my business).

“Abi now!” Ay supported, with squeezed facial expression looking like a plastic plate trailer jus ran over, a face he has on when he’s about to sweat it out in an argument with someone (altho not his cup of tea o, nigga isn’t even in his finals!).

“Una b fools, I go like dey on my own, buy fresh mad ride dey cruise dey feel alright” Kz stepped back in

And so began the argument, getting heated up at every contradictory contribution, everyone (including me) at the top of their voices, each person trying to make a point………….

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2 thoughts on “AFTER B.Sc….. (PART ONE)

  1. buraboy says:

    crazy bastard…. joblessnezz part 1….
    so u bring our discussion come here
    u are so dead
    got my eyez on u
    missing u guyz gan
    no PP witout u guyz again…
    wud ve to endure PP for 1yr witout u pipz

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